Everyone's Crazy 'Bout A Sharp Dressed Man

How much time do you spend picking out your clothes in the mornings? When I was young I loved the excitement of picking a cool shirt and my favorite ripped up jeans before I went to school each morning. I Progressed slowly through my love of t-shirts with cartoon characters on them to rock band shirts then into my edgy teen years with anime shirts, flaming skulls, and tribal patterns. I was far from being a classy kid, but I took so much pride in my appearance and the version of me I wanted everyone to see. Now, it seems I, and many like me, are content with whatever we can throw on to get out the door. Where along the way did that joy and pride disappear? When did we as a group decide to lower the bar on looking good and dressing sharp? Well traveler, pull up a seat and lets have a heartfelt and peaceful sharing of thoughts.

Now, my choices of styles as a child were questionable at best. I was a nerdy misfit kid and I wore that badge proudly. But, I knew when to turn on the charm too. I would often dress like I was going to church if I was going to pick up a job application, and was proud to iron a button down shirt and get my best khakis out when I was going on a first date or meeting a girl's parents. I wouldn’t have dreamed of showing up for dinner with someone's family and not being dressed to impress them. The feeling I got from looking good only expanded as I began my life as a musician. I felt proud to put on my uniform when I performed with the school band, but the real joy came from dressing “old school” when I performed with the school’s jazz band. I rolled my look all the way back to the 1920’s with my black silk shirt and tie, spats, and fedora (always with a hawk’s feather in the band). I loved the feeling of dressing sharp and looking good. That joy continued into college, where I studied music and regularly performed in suit and tie in front of respectable audiences. But again, my passion was as the bassist for the jazz ensemble, wearing all black, with a vest and silver tie….and again my fedora with the hawk’s feather. Looking classy felt good.

Now, over a decade past college, life chugging along and the opportunities to assume my persona as an old jazz musician dried up like leaves in an Oklahoma summer, I think back on the good old days and wonder where they went and why I let them die off. Now, I regularly joke that the best part of being almost 40 and having the career I have, is that work issues me uniforms that match and I never have to think about what I’m going to wear anymore. Every day begins with the same black polo shirt, tan pants, and black boots. Apart from special occasions, I haven’t had a reason to dress nice in ages. Well, until I started to really pay attention and began to write about the loss of the classic gentleman architype. Since beginning to write this series, I’ve slowed down and paid significantly more attention to my appearance and the class that I try to project to those around me. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m rocking the starched shirt, vest, and tie of Atticus Finch, or the blazer and well-oiled hair of James Bond. No, I’ve simply opted to leave my shorts and t-shirts for lounging at home and for yard work. If I’m going out into town, I wear nicer pants and, preferably, a shirt with a collar. It seems like a small change, but in today’s societal norms, nice jeans and a polo shirt make you stand out above the crowd. I would challenge any of you, as my readers and as my friends, find a way to exude a classier appearance in your day-to-day life. It shows that you have respect for yourself and are willing to take the time and put in the effort to look sharp.

I’ll be honest, I’m not a master of fashion or any king of stylish man. Far from it actually…if you ask my kids that is. But I do have a few simple suggestions that may help to raise the bar for your appearance and help you join in the revival of the modern gentleman. First, this needs to include the disclaimer that everything I’m saying here is meant with respect and is not meant to start any politically infused arguments. I say again, learning to be polite and classy individuals transcends gender, race, and political affiliation. I shouldn't have to say this, but learning to build self respect and to show pride in one's appearance isn't the "norm" anymore.... Now, to my list:

1. Every day is an opportunity to impress. You never know who you’ll encounter out there, so always look your best when you go out into the world.
   

2. Leave your pajamas at home. Put on proper clothes when you go in public.
   

3. Traditionally shorts were meant for kids and athletics. Being out around town, gentlemen traditionally wore long pants. Wear pants in public. (Unless hot summer climate prohibits it)
   

4. Try to find shirts with collars on them. Polo shirts look professional and mature, and a nice button-down shirt can take you to another level altogether.
   

5. Learn to iron…it never fails to surprise me how many young men don’t know how to use an iron. It really isn’t hard to do, and it will ALWAYS take your look up a notch.
   

6. Shoes... sneakers can look nice if they’re cleaned and well taken care of, but nothing looks classier than a nicely polished pair of leather shoes or boots.   (PS, learn to polish your shoes)
   

7. Learn to tie a tie and wear one from time to time. Believe it or not, ties can be worn outside of Sunday morning services and weddings. Or, be bold and rock a bow tie!
   

8. Many of us gave up wearing a watch because of having a phone with us everywhere we go. But, the look of a nice, metal banded analogue watch will always look sharp.
   

9. Grooming... We live in a time where facial hair is trendy again. If you want to have facial hair, trim it appropriately and take care of it. A well-manicured beard, goatee, or mustache can really have an impact on your appearance.
   

10. And last, but FAR from least, govern your tongue. Our society has grown very complacent with vulgar language and inappropriate innuendos. Work to speak properly and appropriately for mixed company, often times including children.  

Ok, lets reel it back in… I’m not going to presume to be the authority on being a classy gentleman. But I will say this, we have allowed the standards that we hold ourselves to to be eroded by social norms and laziness. It’s time we step up our game and raise that standard back up where it should be. This is a bit more aggressive of a post than I normally write, but it’s been something weighing heavily on my mind. As the father of a young lady, I would hope that when she brings home a boy to meet her mother and myself, that he knows how to present himself as a gentleman.

Who knows, maybe my daughter will have sent him this article to prepare him for meeting me. And, if that’s the case, I’m glad to help. So, for those adults reading, we need to make sure we’re still setting a good example and teaching the young men in our lives how to be gentlemen. We can’t judge them if we never stopped to teach them any other way to act. And, for any younger readers, please don’t feel attacked. This thinking comes with years of watching things changing. You’ll get to where we are in time. But, for now, if you have any opinions or questions. Or just want some casual mentorship, leave a comment or shoot me a message. I’m proud to have you all here with me on this journey we’re on.

Until we meet again…

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